I am not the first, or only Transsexual Person to document my journey. There are several autobiographies, movies, reality shows, talkshows. Transition is a personal experience, it is different for everyone. All I can do is share my personal experience blended with philosophy I picked up along the way. For example, "I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folk are like leaves of a tree and live and die unnoticed." - The Scarecrow in "The Marvelous Land of Oz" by Frank L. Baum
Also, I have come to realize recently that it is through challenges and tests that we learn and grow. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." In another aspect of my life, I was able to qualify for and compete in the Boston Marthon by training,challenging my body, adding milage, tempo, terrain.The challenge I am now taking on is by far more daunting, but is so much more rewarding. I embrace it and welcome it. The rewards already are incredible. I lived my previous life because I thought it was expected of me. But it wasn't me. It wasn't true. My body and mind are now one. It's like the experience of running on one leg, knowing you are missing something and then given the ability to run on both legs with the Whole world open before you.
I am getting involved in the Transgender Community. I am ot sure yet what my contribution might be. But I want to help others, to help young people so they don't feel they have to wait till they are as old as me to Transition. We have a place in society, and we have a right to be ourselves. There are something like 40, 000 Transsexuals in the U.S. Imagine if we all used our voices!? I will also be working on the LGBT History Project in St. Louis. We need to be proud of our achievements and give them a wider audience. This is my first Post (Aug. 3rd, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Off the Top of my Head
This new life is just that, a new life, but I have already learned a few things. Carry yourself with confidence and pride. It was a long journey just to get to the open door, now walk through like you belong there, because you do, you earned it the hard way. Anything less, and there are those who will question your right to be there, or even exist. If you are self-conscious, insecure, doubtful there are sharks in the water that will sense your fear and attack. Because that's what they do. Verbal, emotional, physical attacks. Remember, you have a right to just be you. It is a great self-affirming awakening to shed pretensions, disguises, and the training wheels and take the real you for a glorious ride. Remember the handlebars are yours, you own them, you have control. Take the road to where you want to go.
"You've ( I've ) come a long way, baby!" But there's a whole long, beautiful, road ahead. You'll fid me on that road with eyes wide open!!
Posted on transcendentalexperience Aug 5, 2011
"You've ( I've ) come a long way, baby!" But there's a whole long, beautiful, road ahead. You'll fid me on that road with eyes wide open!!
Posted on transcendentalexperience Aug 5, 2011
When (if) I grow up
Some people choose what they will be when they grow up. For some, it's chosen for them, by a parent, family business, etc.
I didn't choose to be a woman.
I was born with that choice made for me by nature, by chromesomes, or hormonal imbalance in the womb. The process isn't fully understood. It is what it is, and can't be denied. here is no finishing school, proving ground, or apprenticeship. Real Life Experience - just being - is the only way to learn.
When I first started this journey I had an ideal imagining of the woman I would be, or wanted to be. Well, nature/genetics with the judicious use of hormones has it's own idea of what kind of woman I will become. It's not what I imagined, but on the other hand, I am happier, and more comfortable than I thought ever possible. Liz is NOT a 'new' me. Liz was always there. The artiface, pretense, layers of disguise, deceit, and denial have fallen away.
Like a newly healed wound, or a muscle strain, the me I am now is tender and raw. I am building strength and learning to use my body as I move through - for me - uncharted territory.
The journey is like skydiving. It's only scary until you take the jump, from then on it's amazing and the view from here is transformative!
Posted on transcendentalexperience Sept. 18, 2011
I didn't choose to be a woman.
I was born with that choice made for me by nature, by chromesomes, or hormonal imbalance in the womb. The process isn't fully understood. It is what it is, and can't be denied. here is no finishing school, proving ground, or apprenticeship. Real Life Experience - just being - is the only way to learn.
When I first started this journey I had an ideal imagining of the woman I would be, or wanted to be. Well, nature/genetics with the judicious use of hormones has it's own idea of what kind of woman I will become. It's not what I imagined, but on the other hand, I am happier, and more comfortable than I thought ever possible. Liz is NOT a 'new' me. Liz was always there. The artiface, pretense, layers of disguise, deceit, and denial have fallen away.
Like a newly healed wound, or a muscle strain, the me I am now is tender and raw. I am building strength and learning to use my body as I move through - for me - uncharted territory.
The journey is like skydiving. It's only scary until you take the jump, from then on it's amazing and the view from here is transformative!
Posted on transcendentalexperience Sept. 18, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Three legged Stool: Acceptance, Passing, and Authenticity
It is generally true that most people want to be accepted. It is hard-wired into our nature to want to belong. Homo Sapiens is a social species, after all. It can be scary to be alone, and it gets cold 'outside'.
The difficulty comes in trying to be what, or who, we are not. A sense of inner-conflict arises with reprecussions to physical and mental health. If someone is accepted by the dominant society they are said to 'pass' and are given entre and entitlements. Now let's add the third leg to the stool, authenticity. Being yourself, 'presenting' to society who you are in fact, brings confidence, creativity, clarity, and an ability to give 100% to your efforts. Fitting in is comfortable, there is no denying that. The sense of belonging is all warm and fuzzy. But do you fit in? Do you belong? Only you can answer that from deep in yourself. You might say, "Yes, but at what price?" Consider this; all the truly great people stood out. They weren't afraid to be different, to think differently, to do different things. Inventions, cures, discoveries, great literature were all achieved by doing something differently. The people who are responsible are judged 'great' and put on a pedestal (stool?). But if they didn't step out, or stand out, no one would ever have heard of them.
So, to have something to sit on that is solid, and whole, a pedestal is just a fancy stool, you need authenticity. Without it, you can balance for awhile, but you will fall. With authenticity you can build and grow and reach higher. Athenticity is more than 'warm and fuzzy'. A person that is authentic is complete and is whole and is proud. To me that is much better thasn a passing grade.
1st posted Oct. 26, 2011 on Transcendentalexperience.
The difficulty comes in trying to be what, or who, we are not. A sense of inner-conflict arises with reprecussions to physical and mental health. If someone is accepted by the dominant society they are said to 'pass' and are given entre and entitlements. Now let's add the third leg to the stool, authenticity. Being yourself, 'presenting' to society who you are in fact, brings confidence, creativity, clarity, and an ability to give 100% to your efforts. Fitting in is comfortable, there is no denying that. The sense of belonging is all warm and fuzzy. But do you fit in? Do you belong? Only you can answer that from deep in yourself. You might say, "Yes, but at what price?" Consider this; all the truly great people stood out. They weren't afraid to be different, to think differently, to do different things. Inventions, cures, discoveries, great literature were all achieved by doing something differently. The people who are responsible are judged 'great' and put on a pedestal (stool?). But if they didn't step out, or stand out, no one would ever have heard of them.
So, to have something to sit on that is solid, and whole, a pedestal is just a fancy stool, you need authenticity. Without it, you can balance for awhile, but you will fall. With authenticity you can build and grow and reach higher. Athenticity is more than 'warm and fuzzy'. A person that is authentic is complete and is whole and is proud. To me that is much better thasn a passing grade.
1st posted Oct. 26, 2011 on Transcendentalexperience.
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